Just a Quick Thought....

...getting away from family, work, phones, laundry is truly wonderful.  Having a change of scenery with some people you don't normally spend lots of time with can be liberating.

But the best part is always coming home.

Tell Me Again....

why I can have so many things to do and so little desire to do them?  Came home today way later than originally planned from work, but that's ok because I did get stuff done.  Had an interesting evening last night with some old friends and the kids, so I think I'm still on overload from that.  But, I have bills to pay, and carpets to vacuum, and paperwork 3 feet high that needs to be looked at.  And Gregg wasn't here so I had NO excuses.  

But alas, once I sit at the computer and click "Bejeweled on Facebook", I become a worthless heap of flesh sitting propped up in the chair in the living room glued to the screen.  But, I was stymied a bit because Bejeweled has become so popular it was crashing their server so it was down for about 3 hours.  OH NO!!!!  So, I actually organized the cords (of which there are about 38 various connections for computers, cameras, power, etc) and the paperwork and discs for the computer that Lauren so graciously handed me when she opted to move the old computer desk out of her room to make more space.  She is SO not happy about being home in the smallest of the bedrooms.  But anyway, I did finally figure out how to order photos from my digital files so I can have the old-fashioned as well as the new-fangled versions of photo memories of Edinburgh and Prague. 

It was an awesome trip, but that is for another blog.  Maybe tomorrow.  AFTER I do some paperwork and pay some bills before they come take my car.

Oh Thank Heavens

Well, 2 weeks have passed and I leave today for Scotland to see Lauren.   It's been an interesting 2 weeks -- one can learn a lot about other humans when you tell them you are taking a trip.... :) 

Anyway, I'm Way Excited for several reasons:

1.  I get about 15 hours all to myself

2.  I get to see Edinburgh again after a previous very brief visit - lovely town and I'll see where Lauren has been sleeping and drinking....

3.  I get to go to Prague -- never one of the top cities on my hit list for no particular reason but now that I've done some reading, I'm way excited to explore

4.  I get to bring Lauren back home so we can all be together for a bit.  

One thing I have learned is that I struggle with my children growing up and them finding me and Gregg less appealing.  We truly didn't experience that very much other than the normal fight for independence that traditionally happens about every 2-3 years from the time they are born.  But when they get to be mid-teens to mid-twenties, you have hopes that they will actually want to spend time with you voluntarily.  I now know that that is quite a dream.  I liked it when we would be together, have a fun meal, kick back, and laugh.  All of us.  Together.  And no one had to go anywhere with someone else.  Or wanted to.  

It saddens me simply because I didn't see it coming and I didn't know it would bother me so much.  Now don't get me wrong.  I Do Not Want Everyone Here All The Time.  And they don't want me with them all the time.  I can accept that.  I simply wish the desire would hit once in a while.  Oh well, some have told me that will change and they will return.  I hope it won't simply be for a bed and full refrigerator.  

But anyways, I get to skip over the pond to the other side of the world for a bit to renew my spirit and perspective.  I'm ready.  Anyone reading this that is still going to be stateside, DO NOT GO TO MY HOUSE WHILE I AM GONE.  I know how the male family members work.  I return on Saturday the 6th -- they will be frantically cleaning up the house on Friday the 5th.  Until that time, heaven only knows what you would find besides a week's worth of doggie bags in the refrigerators and about 50 lbs worth of fur on the furniture.  You would be taking a risk.  Trust me. 

Finally, at age 54, I've declared myself a bit nuts

And my guess is that I may be the last person to do so.  I suspect others declared me crazy long before this, but today I did something totally non-me.

2 weeks from today, right about now, I'll be standing in O'Hare getting ready to board an American airlines flight to Manchester England to connect to Edinburgh to see Lauren.  She has 2 weeks left after 4 long months, made much more bearable for her mom thanks to cell phones and Skype, even with the erratic movements and disconnects.  So a week or so ago she offered I should come meet her in Prague.  I kind of laughed, but then the regret of not having been to see her and see where she lived and drank :) set in and I figured, WHY NOT?

After hours trying to compare OHare-Prague-Edinburgh-OHare

   or  OHare - Edinburgh-Prague-OHare

   or OHare - Edinburgh - Prague - Edinburgh - OHare

for me.....

and then trying to find corresponding flights for Edinburgh - Prague-OHare

   or Edinburgh - Prague - Edinburgh - OHare

for Lauren....

where we both lost our minds trying to look at 22 pages of flight options (no joke), I finally found one that works.  It allows me to see Edinburgh and Lauren's haunts for a brief time, head to Prague for us to explore together and leave stuff in Edinburgh because she doesn't have to vacate her room until the 16th, and then return to Edinburgh to pack a few things (after 4 months who am I kidding?), we can hopefully get them all home with the least amount of excess baggage fees.  She thinks most of her friends are headed home pretty quick after finals, but if a few hang around for a few days, when we return she can still party for a night or 2 before we head back home.

I'm looking forward to it for many reasons -- first because it's crazy and exciting.  Second because I miss spending time with L on a regular basis -- a 6 hour time difference and video pictures are NOT always our best friends.  Third, I've never been to Prague and since I'm 100% Czech I can learn a few things perhaps.  And, it will be a nice break from the past few very busy months at work.

And so, I hope Lauren doesn't regret the offer for me to visit -- the tickets are pretty locked in so I'm hoping that all her schedules didn't get too messed up with me suddenly appearing.  But it will be fun, of that I am sure!

I hate these kinds of days...

...when you have to tell someone that their leadership skills may not be as strong as they think

...when you return an email and include the wrong people

...when the work load far exceeds the time allotted

...when you realize you were supposed to send someone a check last week

...when you have to make a phone call you know will be unpleasant

...when you are way behind in buying cards and gifts for friends and family

...when you lose your perspective on what's truly important

...when you realize that time is going way too quickly

...when you know what you should be doing but can't get motivated to get it done

...when you clean the house and it magically destroys itself immediately following

...when your family is going 14 different directions at any one time

...when you go to the grocery store and STILL forget to buy trash stickers

...when others simply don't seem to understand the loads of thoughts on your mind

...when you can't make a decision to save your life

...when you have to defend your every decision 

...when your trust in someone is tested

...when your contacts can't focus

...when you want to put on PJs and sit infront of the TV but know you have 1,324 pieces of paper to sort through, including that check that needs to be sent

...when you know it won't be much different tomorrow.

I Know What You've Been Doing...

I just said that to the dog.  It wasn't what I was going to write about, but this topic is so poignant that I just have to drop a line. 

Tess is our 3rd dog -- all labs in part or full.  Tess is probably the most loving of all dogs.  She is also the most selective of hearing, the most egotistical (she thinks if she barks at EVERYTHING, she is intimidating), and she has an indiscriminating collection of taste buds.  She will eat almost anything -- chocolate covered in foil, brownies and chocolate cake, left over cereal, cat food and the most disgusting:  cat poop.  

Now you would need to know the 2 cats we currently have living with us to fully understand that this "delicacy" is not rare.  Tess is picky in that she prefers the "fresh-from-the-source" version over the "been-there-a-while" type.  Neither of our other dogs ever did this so it disgusts me to no end.  At least, I can always tell when she's had a snack so we get her plenty of water and real dog food to cleanse the palate.  Ewwwwwwww!!!!!!

Meanwhile, the 2 cats observe her with a look of dismay and tolerance.  Mack is the oldest at 9 and Loki, Lauren's fat cat we are fostering, is about 5?  They are as opposite as they come but since the younger one has become a permanent fixture, Mack has become quite the hip-hugger on the couch.  Loki takes over the table and plops himself down, rolls over and looks at you backwards just begging for a rub.  He also thinks he can hide his huge rear end behind the sheer drapes in the dining room.  He's not real bright.  

Come to think about it, Tess and Loki have the same color fur -- kind of blondish.....   Just makes you think.

Don't you just love a productive day?

Ever notice how some days you spend 12/14/18 hours working your butt off and have absolutely NOTHING to show for it?  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  Now, I have learned over time that when that happens I must force myself to find something to justify my existence that day and sometimes, SOMETIMES, it's as simple as:  Got Up.  Took a shower.  Got Dressed.  Played on the computer.  And somehow I can dig really hard to find something CONSTRUCTIVE I did on the computer, like update a Birthday List or something.  And invariably, then I get mad -- and try to blame others -- when in fact I have no one to blame but myself.  And I try to justify my computer time as "Relaxing" time.  Which it is.  But that doesn't help the laundry get in the washer and out, the ironing (yes, I still do that sometimes -- actually that will be my American Idol activity tonight when all of America with its 38 million (38,000,000) votes will decide the fate of some talented young person.  Jennifer, if Adam Lambert goes on tour, I'm taking you!!), or the miriad of papers get into file folders in the basement.  I REALLY  have to be in the right frame of mind to go down there and spend some time -- even with the lights on, it's a bit depressing.

And yet, if I just put my head down, bite the bullet, eat the frog and DO the job at hand, it usually takes a fraction of the time I anticipate to complete.  I spend more time talking myself OUT of doing the task than actually DOING the task.  Can we all say "PROCRASTINATION?"

But some days just flow -- and today was one of them!  Got to work with a big old Starbucks Iced Decaf Venti Non-Fat No-Whip Mocha in hand and I began.  I opted to simply take the first thing off the pile and address it.  And my mind clearly processed everything, I was barely distracted by others and I made huge progress.  And what an energizing feeling.  I feel like I can take on the basement piles with fortitude and enthusiasm.

But only after I finish this blog and hit a few rounds of Puzzle Express.  Because, it is always good to Relax BEFORE you work!

Life's Surprises

So, why is it that one day you wake up and notice that your body has taken on a life of its own -- or at least parts of it have?   One day, my hair looks great -- the next it's 10 feet too long.  One day, my face doesn't look too bad -- the next day there are these bumps forming along my forehead with one strategically placed right dead center, just tempting anyone brave enough to push it and see if something happens.  

I love our dermatologist -- he is kind beyond words.  He doesn't say things like, "You're old -- get used to it."  or "You will see these things develop - more to come!"  He just explains some scientific term and says that we can do this or that.  Neither of which are covered by insurance because they are cosmetic.  One would think that at 54 years old, appearances just ain't that important, but alas I opted for Door #1, and guess what he says?  "Since insurance won't cover this, let's just make this a test and I won't charge you.  Next time, if you want to do this again, I will just charge you for the treatment and not an office visit."  AND, they wrote that in the file for future reference!  Who Does That these days?  Normally, they take your firstborn when you park in the parking lot, let alone see a doctor.  And so it goes -- aging can be beautiful, but it seems to be more beautiful with the help of a good skin doctor..... :)  Now I just have to sit back and watch what happens -- this should be fun!

Next time I'm asking him to treat the large bumps on my hips -- oh wait, those large bumps ARE my hips.  Wonder what kind of medical miracle he has for that!

Lists of Things to Do

This had to be the LONGEST week on record -- and the funny thing is, I have little to show for it.  You know how there is always SOMETHING to do -- that list of what needs to be done, what you'd like to get done.  Now some folks, you know who you are, do not work well with lists -- too much pressure to get everything done before you go to bed. I've perfected the technique.

I think creating the right list is a bit of a skill -- not really a talent, though.  The talent comes in being able to look at the list and realize that you will never get everything done on the list.  The list needs to constantly be evolving.  Now, that can be very overwhelming to some, but for those of us who fritter away hours playing goofy puzzle games on the computer (which is way cheaper than shopping or drinking, by the way), the list must be viewed as a compass, or perhaps like in the car wash when the little track moves along under your tires and occasionally there is a bar that pushes your car through the tunnel of water towards its final destination.  

My mother has often said that, if you give a job to a busy person, you know it will get done.  That is SO true -- it seems the less time you have to complete a task, the more likely you will get it done, along with all the other things that have to be worked on.  Evidence -- this week with Gregg being gone all week, few commitments beyond work, and little has changed in the appearance of the house -- Oh, I did make the bed this morning because Gregg comes home about noon :).

However, since I just took the ever-so-scientific Facebook quiz to determine my true age, and the results were AWESOME, I'm crediting that to a healthy balance in my life.  More food than I require/less exercise than I should partake in, good job that challenges me/almost complete control of my work schedule, a husband and family whom I love with all my heart/their confidence, independence and jobs that allows them to leave upon occasion so we're not together all the time, a great source of friends and acquaintances/my love of quiet and solitude.

And so, my list has been buried under the papers on the kitchen table for the week.  The laundry is getting washed, the groceries will be purchased, and the paperwork and photos will be the weekend project (thanks to Mother Nature's gentle reminder that it is still March in Chicago).  But no one's life depends on getting these done by noon today.   But if I didn't have the written and mental lists going, I'd most certainly be playing Puzzle Express (which I now need to purchase because my free trial has expired -- bummer.)  

All that will happen today, but not until after I get my haircut at the new salon that I'm trying out simply because the name sounds cool -- Urban Trend Hair Design.  I may be setting myself up for disappointment, but hair grows back.

By the way,  Real Age: 54.  True Age:  37.  Now how can you POSSIBLY have a bad day after that discovery?!

I Hate Shedding Season

I love animals, but I'm here to tell you that my expensive Dyson just ain't enough unless I can put it on a timer to run by itself about every 2 hours.  Between the dog and 2 cats, we are removing enough fur to create a whole new pet.  I don't think there is one square inch in my house right now that doesn't have fur on it.  I'm thinking of stuffing a pillow......

Chalk it up and move on...

Soooooo, sometimes it's hard to change.  Sometimes, it's hard to accept change.  Big difference between the two.

Sometimes we change -- our thoughts, actions, outlook -- because either we are forced to do so by circumstances, or we choose to because of circumstances.  Either way, sometimes it is difficult to change.  It's hard to let go of the old ways and move towards the new, even when our heart is in the right place and our head knows it is for the better.

Why is that?  

Because it's hard.  Habits are comfortable.  We don't have to think about them.  They are like an old pair of jeans that fits just right, holes and all.  And sometimes we just don't want to be challenged any more.  We are tired.  

Sometimes, change is forced upon us.  I think that human nature is such that our natural reaction is to dislike change, again even though we know it might be better.  Our dreams and plans usually center around an ideal path and desired outcome, and when that doesn't happen it is difficult to accept that.

And yet, like anything, we have a choice as we approach change -- in ourselves, in our surroundings.  We can choose to fight it tooth and nail, kicking and screaming, arguing why we should stay the same.   And in the process, waste an enormous amount of energy fighting something that you cannot stop or control.  And let's not talk about the stress that generates!

Or we can choose to take it in stride, accept that our plans are not always what the greater universe has in store for us, and try to find the positive in the change of direction.  Sometimes, that acceptance takes some time.  

But things happen that invoke change and sometimes, there isn't a darn thing we can do about it.  Sometimes our plans and dreams are different that someone else's and so their actions impact our lives.  But once you get over the fork in the road, you must face the new path with the realization that there are loads of opportunities on that path, just like there were on the original road, that we would have never seen had we not been forced to change directions.  They are just different than we envisioned.

So we have to open our eyes, our hearts and our minds to all the possibilities, and let go of the old, and let go of what we wish had happened.  Sometimes it just isn't going to happen.  Sometimes, we just need to be patient to see that the new path is even better than we could have possibly imagined.  We just need to have the right outlook.  And a bit of patience.

What Does It Cost?

So, recently I've been dedicating the better part of my life to a few pet projects to benefit the agency where I work.   And I do this willingly and with passion because I believe in what we do and I also have this gene thing that was passed down to me from my parents and grandparents that when you take on a task, you need to do the best job you can.  My grandfather's words follow me often:  If you don't have time to do it right the first time, how will you find time to do it over again?

Now, that is not to say that I do these tasks without complaining.  Heaven knows, as does my family, that I whine, and complain, and feel sorry for myself along the way when I feel like my efforts are not truly appreciated by those I think should be appreciating them.  Some folks, I'm sure, feel that either a) I'm doing what was expected and so appreciation and thanks are not necessary, or b) I brought it on myself and so I should suffer alone.

I don't like either of those options, personally, although in many instances either a, b or both can apply to a situation.  Upon occasion, I've probably been on that side and made one of those assumptions myself about another person's work.  I'm not proud to admit that, by the way.

And, I am torn here because I truly believe that, while a gracious word of "thanks" or "good job" costs nothing except a thought and a moment, there is a point where they lose their impact.  If I were to tell my kids, "Thank you for making your bed.  Thank you for waking up.  Thank you for eating breakfast.  Thank you for breathing...." it no longer rings sincere and the recipient of such gracious tidings quickly recognizes that.  It no longer carries any weight and we have less of a sense of accomplishment and pride in what we have done.  It's shallow and hollow. 

We also create a sense of deservedness -- that when we don't get a thank you for every little thing we do, our nose is out of joint and we feel betrayed.  We should NOT be thanked for existing and doing every little thing, especially those things that simply make sense that you should do to be part of a work team or part of a family.

However, there are definitely times when these simple words can make such a huge difference.  When the effort is above and beyond the call of duty, when the desires of one are carried out by others, when the heart was in the right place even if the execution of the task was not perfect.  Then those kind words from the right people speak volumes -- they say that someone noticed and appreciated your work and recognizes that, perhaps, you didn't need to do it at all but you did because you believed in what you were doing. 

As we've had some recent discussions with our children, I try to remind them that thoughtless words can stay with a person for a very long time (I shared some of my own experiences that are with me since my school days -- that's a VERY LONG TIME!).  But just as thoughtless is the lack of words altogether -- the absence of recognition for a job well done or the kind thanks for the effort.  

I know that we all struggle with the ability to separate past from present -- human nature dictates that if we have had an unpleasant situation in the past with an individual, it is difficult to move past that in the future.  We tend to hold grudges.  We want to prove ourselves right.  We are stubborn and sometimes adamant in standing our ground simply on principle to prove a point.  But the amount of energy that takes is huge.  And detrimental, not just to us personally but to those around us.  And we become so fixated on our own personal involvement, we sometimes overlook how we have influenced or neglected others, and that the battle was ours and not theirs.

And so, I encourage you to take a moment to think about the people around you -- at home, at work, in social circles -- and about what they have been doing lately.  It doesn't have to be FOR you or ABOUT you at all.  Now think about how you can recognize their efforts on their jobs, their chores, their willingness to put up with you or others and take a moment to thank them and say, "Good Job -- thank you for your efforts.  I really appreciate it."  You will make someone's day very bright and enable them to take pride in their accomplishments.  Those words will last for a very, very long time.

Thank you, Gregg, for doing just that today.  I love you!

Simple Joys

Although this is long overdue, I won't bore you with the details of why.  Most don't care.  Don't blame any of you.  

So, this one is simple.  I have a new washer.  And it has a new neighbor -- the matching dryer.  I pretty much cried as they toted my 26 year old set away -- especially since the dryer did still work and I just didn't get my act together to find a good home for it.  

And the new washer and dryer work nicely.  Except when you try to shove a king-sized bedspread into the washer with the agitator sticking up through the middle.  Since I knew I was pushing my luck, I opted to stand guard to see what would happen.  Of course, Gregg suspected I was purposely trying to burn out the motor the first weekend of ownership, which would make sense since it's a sure bet the warranty is still in effect, but I was truly more concerned about a massive amount of water tumbling to the floor.  And the agitator not agitating and simply trapping my comforter.  After a few sad attempts at agitation, I opted for the manual push-the-comforter-up-and-down-with-your-hands method then switched it to drain and spin.  I had to do that about 3 times because I was a bit overzealous with the detergent.  But, in the end the comforter AND the washer AND the dryer survived.  Not sure when I'll do that again, but I recorded it here so I remember how it worked.  :)

So now, many things are being washed -- even if they don't need to be.  Because of course, now I'm so energy efficient I can afford to do that.  The cats are steering clear of me when I'm in laundry mode these days.  Dog's too big.

Now, the way I figure is the old set lasted 26 years so that means this set will get me until I'm 80!  Wouldn't that be a miracle?  On so many levels.......

It's a Sad Day...

I knew it was coming.  It was just a matter of time.  The signs were there -- a small repair here, another repair there.  I just kept hoping but the news of the demise came as a harsh reality today.

My washing machine I purchased when I stopped working in downtown Chicago in 1983 died.  I'm so sad.  

This Maytag machine, along with its partner dryer, was my big purchase when I cashed out my 401K from FMC.  For 3 years of marriage, I had dragged laundry to the nearby laundromat, sometimes at 8:00 at night.  Now sometimes, you could not pay me enough to drag my butt down the road with piles of laundry, but when the clean underwear was gone, there was no choice.  So I made the big purchase.   They are older than my children.  And up until recently, better behaved.  Now the dryer is still working, albeit I'm sure the energy efficiency rating is non-existent.

So, I had to go shopping.. because of course, the machine stopped working with a load of wet laundry in it.  Last night.  About 8:30 pm.  It's not good to not have a working washer.  Luckily it was the last load to be washed after running almost non-stop on Sunday. 

Off to Sears because that's where the repairman suggested I go.  Looking for a Whirlpool washer.  I learned many things as Sears -- 

• Almond/bisque/beige is no longer a color option on any of the models even remotely in my price range
• Front loading washers are really cool looking
• Model numbers were invented to confuse the crap out of every buyer
• Standard sizes from 1983 are no longer made
• Porcelain or paint?
• Knobs or buttons?
• 3.2 cu ft or 3.5 cu ft?
• Almost all dryers are 7.0 cu ft.
• At Sears, all hoses are extra.  All dryer connections are extra.  I think the lint trap was extra.
• The really cool colors cost more.
• There are too many stinking choices.

SO, I thought I should stop by Home Depot.  Here's what I learned:

• All of the above.
• Go home without a washer and do some homework.

And so I spent about 2 hours on the computer searching through the models I wrote down and trying to compare.  Just about the time I thought I found the one, I clicked on the "Reviews" tab and went into a black hole.  Guess looks are insignificant if you want the thing to actually clean your clothes consistently for more than 2 months.  

OK, so let's check option 2.  And option 3.  And option 4,5,6.  Now, I realize not everyone will have a perfect experience with their washer, but when the majority have the same flashing error F51, you start to think this is not the way to go.   

And so, I finally narrowed it down and decided on a model.  Back to the Sears website because they have a sale and free something and free something else.  What they don't have is the washer -- until middle of next week.   

Now, I do know some things and one of them is that living without a washing machine for more than a week is NOT an option.  Keith returns to school on Sunday from Spring break and sending him back to school on the train with dirty clothes just sounds disgusting.  

By this time, I'm simply overwhelmed.  I check out another local appliance store website and it appears they have what I think I want.  Gregg and I hop in the car (yes, hop!) and head to the store to be met by a very nice young man whose eyes light up when we say we need a washer.  He takes us back to their collection of 15-20 washer/dryer combos and the confusion begins all over again.  In the end, we bought a GE Profile stainless tub washer that I could put Michael into and get him clean.  And, of course, since Murphy is still alive and well and bound to visit Wheaton again REAL SOON, we simply opted to buy the matching partner dryer.  Because I think they are happier that way.  

And besides, the washer only came in white and my dryer is almond/bisque/beige.  That just won't do.  But the dryer I currently have still works well.  So I have become one of those consumers who is driven to impulse buying for stupid reasons like color and matching buttons and knobs.  I'm trying to tell myself it is because it will be much more energy efficient and so we will save money in the long run.  

Anyone need a good working dryer?  It will be available beginning Sunday.  $100 or best offer.  You come and get it :).   Somehow, I don't think I'll get 26 years out of this set, but then again, you never know.....

Friday Nite

Sometimes the best way to spend a Friday nite is drinking red wine, eating a homemade pizza and playing Scrabble with your hubby.  It was just perfect. 

Could we have a little quiet please?

Gregg and I had the opportunity this past Saturday to attend the City of Wheaton 150th Birthday Gala.  It was quite the event -- black ties and long dresses all over, gold satin tablecloths and napkins, gorgeous floral arrangements, gold rimmed china and glassware, harpists, fancy hors d'oeuvres and cocktails.  The folks who voluntarily busted their butts for the past year in order to make this happen, did so with the intentions that all the proceeds from the celebration would benefit 15 area charities, of which one of those charities is where I work.  Hence, why I wanted to go.  Gregg went by default, although he is actively involved with the same group.  I told him we were going.  

While I will spare all the details surrounding our involvement in this beyond simply attending, I just want to state one thing very clearly.  I really get frustrated when people cannot sit quietly for presentations and speeches.  Now granted, it was long and we were seated just outside the main banquet area, but there were closed circuit tv's showing us what was going on and the doors were opened between the 2 rooms.  Why is it that people can sit quietly in a movie theater for 2, even 3 hours, when the performers would have no clue whether you were talking or not, but when real live people have prepared and stand before you in the flesh, you have no qualms speaking to your neighbor and across the round table of 10 at the same time they are trying to give their carefully thought out words?  Would it not be better for you to remove yourself from the room and go into the hall or bathroom to have your discussions and return when you are ready to sit quietly?  It certainly does make it difficult for others to enjoy the event.  I considered throwing pieces of my pretzel roll at the offenders, but it was too good to waste.

And so, although we looked AWESOME, I think Gregg would agree with me that we are not meant to attend these events except on rare occasions.  I love getting dressed up, but when I do I hope that I am acting appropriately.  Maybe it comes with age (although most of the gregarious ones were old enough to know better), or maybe it comes from having been on the side of the presenting fence where you compete with the talkers, but I think falling asleep (although not the preferred method of listening to speeches) would be a better alternative -- at least until the snoring starts.  I was grateful for the quiet found in the CheckOut area where my co-workers were stationed until such time as those doors opened and the throngs invaded.  

And now, on to the next event.....let's see how this group will do!

How Does This Happen?

So, I start off innocently enough by filling in for someone who cannot attend a meeting just to get an update on the progress and plans for an event of which our agency is receiving some of the proceeds.  And now, here we are 6 months later and I've become a minor part of the committee, but nonetheless, I still have 5 boxes of stuff to take over to the location this morning.   And I woke up this morning thinking, "I should have put that list in this format too so we can record all the financials better...."  And so it goes.

I do have a mug that I saved when I was streamlining the cabinet -- it reads, "Stop Me Before I Volunteer Again."

And yet, this stuff energizes me.  It's been a while since I have taken on a big project for one of the kid's schools or other worthy cause, outside of work, and while I'm not sure the group of women who have spent the past year working on this gala fully agree that I've been helpful, it has been fun to get back into this.  It's just been more than originally planned and it certainly would have been less stressful if it were another time of year but, it's almost here.  It's Tonight.  The City of Wheaton 150th Birthday Gala.  400 people. Black Tie (no, Gregg is not wearing a penguin suit -- it was hard enough to get him to attend in a regular suit -- besides since we represent one of the non-profit recipient agencies, I think we should look like we need the money....).  I'm going early so I told him he can take me earlier and then go back home (very close) to get ready and then,  just like when I still give the kids chores, I told him, "...and then come back.  Before the end of the evening.  To be sociable.  And to keep me company."  I'm afraid he'll come back home, pop a pizza in the oven, turn on "Braveheart" and forget all about where he is supposed to be.  The event runs from 6:30 to 1:00 -- his eyes popped out of his head when he heard that....

Well, I guess my thoughts are this -- when you take ownership in something, you truly do get something out of it other than a bit of stress.  You get a sense of pride in the job you've done (even if others may not agree with you whole-heartedly).  You get a sense of accomplishment that you were able to squeeze it all in AND take a shower.  You learn to put on the blinders to the furry furniture and piled up laundry to find something with a bit more meaning and greater impact on others.  And then you get to go to a fancy dinner "GALA".  Beats what we normally do on Saturday night -- Scrabble board, you'll just have to wait. 

My Brain is Full

So, today was the perfect blend of learning, exchanging, accomplishing and celebrating.  Now, one would think this would be a good thing.  But as the old saying goes, "Too much of good thing."   I know that doesn't make sense but when you Google "Too much of a good thing," that's all there is -- no end to the statement.  The definition or interpretation states, "Excess may do you harm."  Personally, that makes a heck of a lot more sense.

And so today, the excess may have done me in.  I've had too much of a good thing.  Restated in Gail format, "I'm a hamster on a wheel and I can't run that fast."  But that's not all bad.  In and amongst the panel discussion on succession planning, the Wheaton Sesquicentennial Gala commitment that went far beyond just showing up, the WDSRA dinner auction and the yet to happen retirement party (of which I am REALLY looking forward to the alcoholic offerings), was a 2 hour window consisting of watching "The Secret" dvd.  Now, I have the book, but have not finished reading the thing -- tried but apparently didn't quite care about a secret at the time - but the topic came up at our Great Places to Work committee meeting and I happened to have the dvd from a co-worker sitting on my countertop for the past month.  

SO, I watched it and, other than feeling like I was in the middle of the DaVinci Code and Groundhog Day, it was pretty good in concept.  SO, I brought it to work so the group could watch it today.  Those of you who do not know "The Secret", the essential principle is that the Law of Attraction - Like attracts Like - applies to everyone's life and so we can control, in a way, that which comes to us.  And that boils down to how you approach life -- be happy, look for the good, speak/think/act in positive ways and positive words/thoughts/actions will come back to you over and over again.  They use examples of material things such as money and homes, but also jobs, relationships, health.  And the concept is pretty darn simple but the key is awareness -- you have to be aware of how and what you are saying, thinking, doing and the manner in which you are doing those so you can perhaps flip them into a positive process.  The Law of Attraction works for both the positive and negative.  

And when you start paying attention to people, you start to see how this concept could indeed be based on a solid foundation of truth.  People who find the good in situations, have a happy disposition, extend themselves in positive ways, tend to have less misfortune come their way or simply look at through a different perspective so as to not let it get the best of them.  Those who struggle through difficult times and continue to wish for better and find all the negatives overwhelming, simply seem to attract more negatives and find negatives in even the smallest of issues.  Now, they certainly aren't asking for that directly, but it happens.  I can put a couple of names in each category - myself included - even if only for a short period of time, and can see the patterns.  Makes you much more aware of your attitude and actions.

Two other thoughts related to this:  The situation we currently find ourselves in is a result of our past actions or inactions.  They are not a result of present situations.  If our weight is out of control, it didn't happen today -- it's a result of poor habits over many years (why did I choose THAT example?).  If our financial situation is gloomy, we didn't lose all our money today -- it's the result of poor planning and fiscal irresponsibility in the past.  And if we do nothing today differently than we did yesterday, the future will simply be more of the same.  We must implement change immediately in order to see different results tomorrow or next week or next year.

Secondly, a thought stolen from a Sunday newspaper ad for Cost Plus World Market -- yes, I wrote it down and made my own version for free instead of spending $40 for the real thing because it was the thought, not the picture, that was important.

We tend to seek Happiness

when in fact,

Happiness is a Choice.

So choose well, young Skywalker!  

Now I'm going to drink at a retirement party!!!

The Wonder of Technology

Here I am, at 54 years old, one year away from the sometimes much anticipated "Senior Specials" eligibility, and I'm writing random thoughts in a BLOG.  BLOG -- not a terribly friendly sounding word -- actually sounds rather frightening, and so it probably is.  

Why am I doing this?  

Because my 22 year old daughter is in Scotland and she decided this would be a great way to share her experiences during her 4 months abroad.   Although we write, Skype, talk pretty often, there is something innately fun about sitting down to read about her most recent excursions or discoveries.  And I can do it when I need it most -- a break from work, a distraction from chores, an option other than television hockey.  

And so it occurs to me that perhaps, this would be a venue for me to record observations, revelations and celebrations I personally experience.  Now, I have written in a journal the old fashioned way; but while that has a definite personal touch to it, I found that the only time I wrote in there was when I was depressed or angry.  And, quite honestly, I don't want to read back through it so I don't have a clue why anyone else would either.

So, as my mind wanders (which it tends to do more frequently than not), and as I am filling my head with quotes and life lessons to be shared with my co-workers under the guise of "training", I'm thinking this might well be some place for me to log those random enlightenments.  

Will they make sense?  I wouldn't hold my breath.  

Will they make me feel better?  That's the plan.

And so here we go, at 54 years of age, on a computer and internet system that I cannot even begin to comprehend the workings of but in which I put my trust.  Let the games begin!