Now, that is not to say that I do these tasks without complaining. Heaven knows, as does my family, that I whine, and complain, and feel sorry for myself along the way when I feel like my efforts are not truly appreciated by those I think should be appreciating them. Some folks, I'm sure, feel that either a) I'm doing what was expected and so appreciation and thanks are not necessary, or b) I brought it on myself and so I should suffer alone.
I don't like either of those options, personally, although in many instances either a, b or both can apply to a situation. Upon occasion, I've probably been on that side and made one of those assumptions myself about another person's work. I'm not proud to admit that, by the way.
And, I am torn here because I truly believe that, while a gracious word of "thanks" or "good job" costs nothing except a thought and a moment, there is a point where they lose their impact. If I were to tell my kids, "Thank you for making your bed. Thank you for waking up. Thank you for eating breakfast. Thank you for breathing...." it no longer rings sincere and the recipient of such gracious tidings quickly recognizes that. It no longer carries any weight and we have less of a sense of accomplishment and pride in what we have done. It's shallow and hollow.
We also create a sense of deservedness -- that when we don't get a thank you for every little thing we do, our nose is out of joint and we feel betrayed. We should NOT be thanked for existing and doing every little thing, especially those things that simply make sense that you should do to be part of a work team or part of a family.
However, there are definitely times when these simple words can make such a huge difference. When the effort is above and beyond the call of duty, when the desires of one are carried out by others, when the heart was in the right place even if the execution of the task was not perfect. Then those kind words from the right people speak volumes -- they say that someone noticed and appreciated your work and recognizes that, perhaps, you didn't need to do it at all but you did because you believed in what you were doing.
As we've had some recent discussions with our children, I try to remind them that thoughtless words can stay with a person for a very long time (I shared some of my own experiences that are with me since my school days -- that's a VERY LONG TIME!). But just as thoughtless is the lack of words altogether -- the absence of recognition for a job well done or the kind thanks for the effort.
I know that we all struggle with the ability to separate past from present -- human nature dictates that if we have had an unpleasant situation in the past with an individual, it is difficult to move past that in the future. We tend to hold grudges. We want to prove ourselves right. We are stubborn and sometimes adamant in standing our ground simply on principle to prove a point. But the amount of energy that takes is huge. And detrimental, not just to us personally but to those around us. And we become so fixated on our own personal involvement, we sometimes overlook how we have influenced or neglected others, and that the battle was ours and not theirs.
And so, I encourage you to take a moment to think about the people around you -- at home, at work, in social circles -- and about what they have been doing lately. It doesn't have to be FOR you or ABOUT you at all. Now think about how you can recognize their efforts on their jobs, their chores, their willingness to put up with you or others and take a moment to thank them and say, "Good Job -- thank you for your efforts. I really appreciate it." You will make someone's day very bright and enable them to take pride in their accomplishments. Those words will last for a very, very long time.
Thank you, Gregg, for doing just that today. I love you!
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