Lists of Things to Do

This had to be the LONGEST week on record -- and the funny thing is, I have little to show for it.  You know how there is always SOMETHING to do -- that list of what needs to be done, what you'd like to get done.  Now some folks, you know who you are, do not work well with lists -- too much pressure to get everything done before you go to bed. I've perfected the technique.

I think creating the right list is a bit of a skill -- not really a talent, though.  The talent comes in being able to look at the list and realize that you will never get everything done on the list.  The list needs to constantly be evolving.  Now, that can be very overwhelming to some, but for those of us who fritter away hours playing goofy puzzle games on the computer (which is way cheaper than shopping or drinking, by the way), the list must be viewed as a compass, or perhaps like in the car wash when the little track moves along under your tires and occasionally there is a bar that pushes your car through the tunnel of water towards its final destination.  

My mother has often said that, if you give a job to a busy person, you know it will get done.  That is SO true -- it seems the less time you have to complete a task, the more likely you will get it done, along with all the other things that have to be worked on.  Evidence -- this week with Gregg being gone all week, few commitments beyond work, and little has changed in the appearance of the house -- Oh, I did make the bed this morning because Gregg comes home about noon :).

However, since I just took the ever-so-scientific Facebook quiz to determine my true age, and the results were AWESOME, I'm crediting that to a healthy balance in my life.  More food than I require/less exercise than I should partake in, good job that challenges me/almost complete control of my work schedule, a husband and family whom I love with all my heart/their confidence, independence and jobs that allows them to leave upon occasion so we're not together all the time, a great source of friends and acquaintances/my love of quiet and solitude.

And so, my list has been buried under the papers on the kitchen table for the week.  The laundry is getting washed, the groceries will be purchased, and the paperwork and photos will be the weekend project (thanks to Mother Nature's gentle reminder that it is still March in Chicago).  But no one's life depends on getting these done by noon today.   But if I didn't have the written and mental lists going, I'd most certainly be playing Puzzle Express (which I now need to purchase because my free trial has expired -- bummer.)  

All that will happen today, but not until after I get my haircut at the new salon that I'm trying out simply because the name sounds cool -- Urban Trend Hair Design.  I may be setting myself up for disappointment, but hair grows back.

By the way,  Real Age: 54.  True Age:  37.  Now how can you POSSIBLY have a bad day after that discovery?!

I Hate Shedding Season

I love animals, but I'm here to tell you that my expensive Dyson just ain't enough unless I can put it on a timer to run by itself about every 2 hours.  Between the dog and 2 cats, we are removing enough fur to create a whole new pet.  I don't think there is one square inch in my house right now that doesn't have fur on it.  I'm thinking of stuffing a pillow......

Chalk it up and move on...

Soooooo, sometimes it's hard to change.  Sometimes, it's hard to accept change.  Big difference between the two.

Sometimes we change -- our thoughts, actions, outlook -- because either we are forced to do so by circumstances, or we choose to because of circumstances.  Either way, sometimes it is difficult to change.  It's hard to let go of the old ways and move towards the new, even when our heart is in the right place and our head knows it is for the better.

Why is that?  

Because it's hard.  Habits are comfortable.  We don't have to think about them.  They are like an old pair of jeans that fits just right, holes and all.  And sometimes we just don't want to be challenged any more.  We are tired.  

Sometimes, change is forced upon us.  I think that human nature is such that our natural reaction is to dislike change, again even though we know it might be better.  Our dreams and plans usually center around an ideal path and desired outcome, and when that doesn't happen it is difficult to accept that.

And yet, like anything, we have a choice as we approach change -- in ourselves, in our surroundings.  We can choose to fight it tooth and nail, kicking and screaming, arguing why we should stay the same.   And in the process, waste an enormous amount of energy fighting something that you cannot stop or control.  And let's not talk about the stress that generates!

Or we can choose to take it in stride, accept that our plans are not always what the greater universe has in store for us, and try to find the positive in the change of direction.  Sometimes, that acceptance takes some time.  

But things happen that invoke change and sometimes, there isn't a darn thing we can do about it.  Sometimes our plans and dreams are different that someone else's and so their actions impact our lives.  But once you get over the fork in the road, you must face the new path with the realization that there are loads of opportunities on that path, just like there were on the original road, that we would have never seen had we not been forced to change directions.  They are just different than we envisioned.

So we have to open our eyes, our hearts and our minds to all the possibilities, and let go of the old, and let go of what we wish had happened.  Sometimes it just isn't going to happen.  Sometimes, we just need to be patient to see that the new path is even better than we could have possibly imagined.  We just need to have the right outlook.  And a bit of patience.

What Does It Cost?

So, recently I've been dedicating the better part of my life to a few pet projects to benefit the agency where I work.   And I do this willingly and with passion because I believe in what we do and I also have this gene thing that was passed down to me from my parents and grandparents that when you take on a task, you need to do the best job you can.  My grandfather's words follow me often:  If you don't have time to do it right the first time, how will you find time to do it over again?

Now, that is not to say that I do these tasks without complaining.  Heaven knows, as does my family, that I whine, and complain, and feel sorry for myself along the way when I feel like my efforts are not truly appreciated by those I think should be appreciating them.  Some folks, I'm sure, feel that either a) I'm doing what was expected and so appreciation and thanks are not necessary, or b) I brought it on myself and so I should suffer alone.

I don't like either of those options, personally, although in many instances either a, b or both can apply to a situation.  Upon occasion, I've probably been on that side and made one of those assumptions myself about another person's work.  I'm not proud to admit that, by the way.

And, I am torn here because I truly believe that, while a gracious word of "thanks" or "good job" costs nothing except a thought and a moment, there is a point where they lose their impact.  If I were to tell my kids, "Thank you for making your bed.  Thank you for waking up.  Thank you for eating breakfast.  Thank you for breathing...." it no longer rings sincere and the recipient of such gracious tidings quickly recognizes that.  It no longer carries any weight and we have less of a sense of accomplishment and pride in what we have done.  It's shallow and hollow. 

We also create a sense of deservedness -- that when we don't get a thank you for every little thing we do, our nose is out of joint and we feel betrayed.  We should NOT be thanked for existing and doing every little thing, especially those things that simply make sense that you should do to be part of a work team or part of a family.

However, there are definitely times when these simple words can make such a huge difference.  When the effort is above and beyond the call of duty, when the desires of one are carried out by others, when the heart was in the right place even if the execution of the task was not perfect.  Then those kind words from the right people speak volumes -- they say that someone noticed and appreciated your work and recognizes that, perhaps, you didn't need to do it at all but you did because you believed in what you were doing. 

As we've had some recent discussions with our children, I try to remind them that thoughtless words can stay with a person for a very long time (I shared some of my own experiences that are with me since my school days -- that's a VERY LONG TIME!).  But just as thoughtless is the lack of words altogether -- the absence of recognition for a job well done or the kind thanks for the effort.  

I know that we all struggle with the ability to separate past from present -- human nature dictates that if we have had an unpleasant situation in the past with an individual, it is difficult to move past that in the future.  We tend to hold grudges.  We want to prove ourselves right.  We are stubborn and sometimes adamant in standing our ground simply on principle to prove a point.  But the amount of energy that takes is huge.  And detrimental, not just to us personally but to those around us.  And we become so fixated on our own personal involvement, we sometimes overlook how we have influenced or neglected others, and that the battle was ours and not theirs.

And so, I encourage you to take a moment to think about the people around you -- at home, at work, in social circles -- and about what they have been doing lately.  It doesn't have to be FOR you or ABOUT you at all.  Now think about how you can recognize their efforts on their jobs, their chores, their willingness to put up with you or others and take a moment to thank them and say, "Good Job -- thank you for your efforts.  I really appreciate it."  You will make someone's day very bright and enable them to take pride in their accomplishments.  Those words will last for a very, very long time.

Thank you, Gregg, for doing just that today.  I love you!

Simple Joys

Although this is long overdue, I won't bore you with the details of why.  Most don't care.  Don't blame any of you.  

So, this one is simple.  I have a new washer.  And it has a new neighbor -- the matching dryer.  I pretty much cried as they toted my 26 year old set away -- especially since the dryer did still work and I just didn't get my act together to find a good home for it.  

And the new washer and dryer work nicely.  Except when you try to shove a king-sized bedspread into the washer with the agitator sticking up through the middle.  Since I knew I was pushing my luck, I opted to stand guard to see what would happen.  Of course, Gregg suspected I was purposely trying to burn out the motor the first weekend of ownership, which would make sense since it's a sure bet the warranty is still in effect, but I was truly more concerned about a massive amount of water tumbling to the floor.  And the agitator not agitating and simply trapping my comforter.  After a few sad attempts at agitation, I opted for the manual push-the-comforter-up-and-down-with-your-hands method then switched it to drain and spin.  I had to do that about 3 times because I was a bit overzealous with the detergent.  But, in the end the comforter AND the washer AND the dryer survived.  Not sure when I'll do that again, but I recorded it here so I remember how it worked.  :)

So now, many things are being washed -- even if they don't need to be.  Because of course, now I'm so energy efficient I can afford to do that.  The cats are steering clear of me when I'm in laundry mode these days.  Dog's too big.

Now, the way I figure is the old set lasted 26 years so that means this set will get me until I'm 80!  Wouldn't that be a miracle?  On so many levels.......

It's a Sad Day...

I knew it was coming.  It was just a matter of time.  The signs were there -- a small repair here, another repair there.  I just kept hoping but the news of the demise came as a harsh reality today.

My washing machine I purchased when I stopped working in downtown Chicago in 1983 died.  I'm so sad.  

This Maytag machine, along with its partner dryer, was my big purchase when I cashed out my 401K from FMC.  For 3 years of marriage, I had dragged laundry to the nearby laundromat, sometimes at 8:00 at night.  Now sometimes, you could not pay me enough to drag my butt down the road with piles of laundry, but when the clean underwear was gone, there was no choice.  So I made the big purchase.   They are older than my children.  And up until recently, better behaved.  Now the dryer is still working, albeit I'm sure the energy efficiency rating is non-existent.

So, I had to go shopping.. because of course, the machine stopped working with a load of wet laundry in it.  Last night.  About 8:30 pm.  It's not good to not have a working washer.  Luckily it was the last load to be washed after running almost non-stop on Sunday. 

Off to Sears because that's where the repairman suggested I go.  Looking for a Whirlpool washer.  I learned many things as Sears -- 

• Almond/bisque/beige is no longer a color option on any of the models even remotely in my price range
• Front loading washers are really cool looking
• Model numbers were invented to confuse the crap out of every buyer
• Standard sizes from 1983 are no longer made
• Porcelain or paint?
• Knobs or buttons?
• 3.2 cu ft or 3.5 cu ft?
• Almost all dryers are 7.0 cu ft.
• At Sears, all hoses are extra.  All dryer connections are extra.  I think the lint trap was extra.
• The really cool colors cost more.
• There are too many stinking choices.

SO, I thought I should stop by Home Depot.  Here's what I learned:

• All of the above.
• Go home without a washer and do some homework.

And so I spent about 2 hours on the computer searching through the models I wrote down and trying to compare.  Just about the time I thought I found the one, I clicked on the "Reviews" tab and went into a black hole.  Guess looks are insignificant if you want the thing to actually clean your clothes consistently for more than 2 months.  

OK, so let's check option 2.  And option 3.  And option 4,5,6.  Now, I realize not everyone will have a perfect experience with their washer, but when the majority have the same flashing error F51, you start to think this is not the way to go.   

And so, I finally narrowed it down and decided on a model.  Back to the Sears website because they have a sale and free something and free something else.  What they don't have is the washer -- until middle of next week.   

Now, I do know some things and one of them is that living without a washing machine for more than a week is NOT an option.  Keith returns to school on Sunday from Spring break and sending him back to school on the train with dirty clothes just sounds disgusting.  

By this time, I'm simply overwhelmed.  I check out another local appliance store website and it appears they have what I think I want.  Gregg and I hop in the car (yes, hop!) and head to the store to be met by a very nice young man whose eyes light up when we say we need a washer.  He takes us back to their collection of 15-20 washer/dryer combos and the confusion begins all over again.  In the end, we bought a GE Profile stainless tub washer that I could put Michael into and get him clean.  And, of course, since Murphy is still alive and well and bound to visit Wheaton again REAL SOON, we simply opted to buy the matching partner dryer.  Because I think they are happier that way.  

And besides, the washer only came in white and my dryer is almond/bisque/beige.  That just won't do.  But the dryer I currently have still works well.  So I have become one of those consumers who is driven to impulse buying for stupid reasons like color and matching buttons and knobs.  I'm trying to tell myself it is because it will be much more energy efficient and so we will save money in the long run.  

Anyone need a good working dryer?  It will be available beginning Sunday.  $100 or best offer.  You come and get it :).   Somehow, I don't think I'll get 26 years out of this set, but then again, you never know.....